The Master Sword is Powered by Slavery [WW part 3]

SO, after a long and arduous cranked out session, I have beaten the game.  Again.  And I'd TOTALLY forgotten about Tingle.   The probably autistic fat man who dresses in skin tight clothes and calls himself a 'fairy.'  Again, makes an appearance, this time you bust him out of jail based on the advice from a few cute little delinquents.  Anyways, this time around, Tingle's like some sort of autistic savant, who's main thing is maps, he can decipher them with ease, and no small part of flamboyance.

But here's the fucked up part, you rescued this skintight green onesie wearing dude (Tingle) from jail.  And he is the only one who can decipher these ancient scrolls containing the secret locations of the shards.    And he'll do it, for the measly price of 398 rupees.    A FUCKING PIECE.   398 X 8 = 3,184 Rupees.  Your starting wallet holds 500.  Mind you, you sprung this dude from prison.  (fun side note, the actual amount of time you spend hunting this down is the most lengthy and tedious portion of the game.  I just want to mess shit up with my little pigsticker of a sword.)

So let's assess the whole situation here.  For pretty much no reason, actually none whatsoever, but we'll return to that, you are required to seek out 8 triforce sea charts that leads you to 8 individual shards of a piece of the Triforce.


Okay, the Triforce, probably needs to be explained.  The Triforce is like the dragon balls, except theres just three parts.   Tetra/Zelda have one, wisdom.  Ganondorf has one more, Power.  And after you spend about 9 hours hauling ass to collect the charts required to fish the shards out of the ocean, you get your very own, Courage.  Taking it back to Hyrule and Princess Zelda/ Lesbo pirate Tetra you discover it was a big trap, and that ganondorf totally wants to kill you.  Shocker.



He starts off by lighting the entire room on fire so you're trapped and then dropping 3 VERY heavily armed monsters on you for you to deal with.   I kick ass at all the sword fighting in this game, but this gets tough.  Proceeding that, you get the light bow.  Which you should've gotten about a hundred years earlier, because it basically just vaporizes baddies in powerful pillars of light.

Kind of makes you wonder why you ever needed an 'evil repellant' sword, when you have a plasma bow at your disposal.





EDITTTER:   Ganondorfs death,  Brain damage.