Taking a Dump on It

I love competing against people who are better than me.  For lots of reasons, primarily because its the best way to improve, but also because picking up a controller and beating someone at their own game is one of the more satisfying feelings in life.   I don't know what it is, but there's just something about taking a skill that someone reveres and taking a huge dump on it.  You know..... that's really what that feeling is like.   Beating someone at their own game is like walking into someones house and taking a really satisfying dump on their new carpet that they made themselves, painstakingly, over a long and dedicated ordeal of, um, stitching?  I actually don't know how you make a carpet, I imagine it's pretty difficult to do by hand.

Anyways, this kind of competitive attitude means I'm usually either pining for a controller at parties, or talking shit to a seasoned veteran of a game I've never played before.  Most of the time, this works out, I have fun, and get way better at something right off the start, yay!

However, rarely, very rarely, there comes along that pro that I can't beat.  And that's not to say that I get all butthurt about losing either, but when some just dominates you with what you can clearly see is only the tiniest bit of effort,  that shit is upsetting.

But I don't let it get to me, I use the frustration as fuel, raw anger, LIQUID POWER. Or something like that, and usually make a friend or two in the process.   Even if I secretly hate them for being that much better, being able to see something that I don't.

annnnnd now we move on to my roommate.  Tommy, very soundly and regularly, shits on my Mario Kart Carpet.  But it doesn't make sense.  Tommy's not into video games at all.  Because Mario Kart and GoldenEye are literally the only games he'll play.   But Mario Kart is the most infuriating, when we first moved in together, it was clear I was never going to beat him, so I promised him that I would, naturally.   Flash forwards 7 months and I'm better than all my friends at Mario Kart, to the point where feelings have been hurt and a moratorium is often in effect concerning speaking of that game.

"No Religion, No Politics, No Mario Kart.     We shan't speak of this any further."

But I still can't win.  Not unless I get him massively stoned first (which, although I'm wont to, is something he very rarely lets me do), and even then, it's still a challenge.  The boy just breathes Mario Kart.  And it's not like he spent his whole life developing this mad power either, he told me that he just spent one summer in high school doing literally nothing but getting fucked up and playing video games.  Time well spent in my opinion, but still.  WTF.   It makes no sense, not a lick of it.   I'm flabbergasted, but I still want more than anything to shit myself to death on his Mario Karpet.

SEEWHATIDIDTHERE?